Regular Show: Know Your Stars
by PenGator3
Summary: The title says it all - find out about the stars of Regular Show; remember, it's anything but...  MY MOM!
1. Mordecai

**Author's Note:**Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work "Re:" and "Team Fortress," I have something that will occupy your time: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may experience a few things out of place.

**Disclaimer:** Regular Show belongs to Cartoon Network; in addition, "Know Your Stars" belong to "All That." First up, MORDECAI!

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There once was a blue jay named Mordecai who was a simple groundskeeper; he had friends and video games beyond the wildest of imaginations. As he plays Dig Champs on his old style game console he was unaware that something strange was going to happen so fast, not even a doctor with such a name would comprehend it enough to go into his personal phone booth to undo the mess that would be made. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought our little boy blue to attention, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"What was that?" Mordecai questioned as he stopped playing his video game in confusion. Then, the Announcer says, "Mordecai is an emo." "Um… no I'm not," the blue jay countered confusingly, "I don't like wearing black a lot like some teenager wanting to commit suicide!" "Mordecai's real name is Tom," the Announcer stated. Mordecai responded, "say what? My name is not Tom!"

"Mordecai is a disgrace," said the Announcer, "because he killed Rigby." "Okay look, just because what I did was wrong doesn't make me a disgrace you jerk; and besides, how did you now about all this?" the blue jay countered with fury. Now, the Announcer says, "Mordecai is a head scratching foot shuffling negro." "First of all, I have feathers, you drillbit," Mordecai exclaimed with disbelief before continuing onward, "secondly, I don't know how to dance at all. And third, I'm NOT EVEN HUMAN YOU EFFING RACIST!"

"Mordecai hates Planet Chasers Starlight Excellent with a passion," the Announcer whispers. This made the blue jay even cross as he spoke out in anger, "of course I hate Planet Chasers Starlight Excellent; it almost made me dead!" "And so there it is," the Announcer sighed, "now you know Mordecai..." "No, they do not know me, they don't know me at _all;_ where do you get your information?" Mordecai screamed. Despite this, the Announcer retorted, "oh, go watch Planet Chasers." "_Hey; _where the 'H' are you going?" the blue jay exclaimed, "I'm not through with you! Get back here!"

But the Announcer was gone, leaving Mordecai groaning to himself angrily with confusion and delay; little did he know, he would not be alone in this predicament.

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**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon but now I'm off 'til next time...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	2. Rigby

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work "A Cat and Fox's Tale," "Yangnesia," and "No Love" I have something that will occupy your time: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may experience a few things out of place.

**Disclaimer:** Regular Show belongs to Cartoon Network; in addition, "Know Your Stars" belong to "All That." Next up, RIGBY

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There once was a raccoon named Rigby who was a simple groundskeeper, just like Mordecai; he had friends and video games beyond the wildest of imaginations. As he exits the bathroom after taking care of business he was unaware that something strange was going to happen so fast, not even a quickie would be done in time. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought our little man to attention, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"What was that?" Rigby questioned as he stopped to look around in confusion to see who was there. Then, the Announcer says, "Rigby is a pirate." "Um… no I'm not," the coon countered confusingly, "I don't have a beard, or a parrot, or some stubby peg-leg; in fact, I don't even own a ship to do that kind of crap!" "Of course not, since this isn't about buccaneering; in fact, it's that you're a software pirate," the Announcer stated. The little man responded, "what; how?" "Rigby stole a handbag from a old lady known as Ima Sure (Glad I Ain't Joe Mama)!" said the Announcer, "all to get an Nintendo 3DS." "Hold up a bit you little turd; I didn't steal from some lady's purse to buy some stupid game!" Rigby countered with fury. Now, the Announcer says, "Rigby stole a car from his brother Don all because he's better than him ."

"What?" the coon exclaimed with disbelief before continuing onward, "hey, just because my brother is taller enough to drive a car doesn't make me jealous; even if I wanted to, you just gonna go 'oh I would steal a DVD or a TV or some crap' just like that!" "No, not at all," the Announcer responded. The little man sighed in relief and spoke, "see?" "Rigby once stole a baby," the Announcer whispers, "that was coating with diamonds (and pearls)." "That's not true; that's IMPOSSIBLE!" the little man got even cross as he spoke out in anger. Then, the Announcer starts to hold up a picture and asks, "then, how do you explain this picture here in my hand?" "What is this piece of 'S'?" Rigby screamed as he saw himself holding the said child in his arms, "that's not even me!" "But it is you, isn't it?" the Announcer counters the coon's statement. The little man scratched his head and spoke, "well it is me but I didn't steal it though."

"Rigby once shot a policeman in the balls ," the announcer declares before continuing, "and then stole his helmet ." "Dude, now your taking this too far!" Rigby screamed as he attempted to pull his hair out. The announcer chortled, "Rigby had gone to the toilet in the helmet and then send it to the policeman's grieving widow, before stealing it again!" "AHH, SICK!" the coon had reacted with shock upon hearing those words, "how could I even do that, you sick freak?" "Well Rigby, since downloading films is stealing, now that you've done it you gonna face the consequences ; after all, it is a felony because it's just like robbing the elderly or murder, " the Announcer lampshades the fact. By the time the little man attempted to shriek, he heard the noises of people outside the window and looked to see that they were becoming an angry mob and amongst them are a real Pirate, his parrot, an old lady, his big brother Don, the baby's mother, a zombie police officer, his human partner, his wife, and two kids; as the former looked at all of the angry faces he utters to himself, "oh crap..." "And so, there it is," the Announcer makes a statement about the situation, "now you know Rigby..." "No, they do not know me, they don't know me at all; where do you get your information?" Rigby angrily screamed. Despite this, the Announcer retorted, "oh, go have fun bootlegging Earthbound or Final Fantasy you dirty pirate."

"Hey; where the 'H' are you going?" the coon exclaimed, "don't leave me alone with them; get back here!" But the Announcer was gone, leaving the little man at the mercy of the mob; little did he know, he wasn't alone in this kind of predicament.

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**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon. Before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was from Spike Lee's "Bamboozled" so technically I'm not a racist; also, I want to thank zanny, RQRGJM9311, and greenpanic6 for being my first reviewers of this story. I hope to have more at rate coming soon but 'til next time...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	3. Benson

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work "A Cat and Fox's Tale," "Yangnesia," and "No Love" I have something that will occupy your time: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may experience a few things out of place; plus, I'm raising the rating a bit.

**Disclaimer:** Regular Show belongs to Cartoon Network; in addition, "Know Your Stars" belong to "All That." Following right after is BENSON!

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There once was a gumball machine named Benson who was king of the groundskeepers; he had diligence and modesty beyond the wildest of imaginations. Before attempting to go back to work after surveying the damage the mob has caused, this is what had happened. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought our big man on campus, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"Hmm?" Benson questioned as he stopped to look around in confusion to see who was there out in the yard, only to find that no one but himself was there; afterwards, he goes back to work. Then, the Announcer says, "Benson is gonna take you back to the past... to play the shitty games that suck ass." "Um… no I'm not, sir," the gumball machine countered with signs of suspicion, "I don't play these games anymore so you must be confusing me with someone else." "Benson would rather have a buffalo, take a diarrhea dump in its ear," the Announcer stated. The big man on campus responded, "eww..." "Benson would rather eat the rotten asshole of a roadkill skunk" said the Announcer, "and down it with beer." "Hold up a bit here, sir; I live in an apartment so don't confuse me with being an alcoholic inbred!" Benson countered with fury as his body turned red. Now, the Announcer says, "Benson is the angriest gamer you've ever heard." "Sir, please stop right now this instant," the gumball machine pleaded before continuing onward, "like I said, I stopped playing these games long ago."

"Benson is the Angry Nintendo Nerd," the Announcer responded. The big man on campus shouted, "stop that!" "Benson is the angry Atari, Sega nerd," the Announcer whispers, "the Angry Video Game Nerd!" "WELL, YOU'RE MAKING ME ANGRY!" Benson got even cross as he spoke out in anger. Then, the Announcer says, "but when you turn on your T.V, you make sure it's not Channel 3 cause you got a nerdy shirt and a pocket pouch although nobody never seen you write anything down..." "I'M WARNING YOU, HERE!" the gumball machine yelled, "YOU DO NOT WANNA MAKE ME ANGRY!" "Benson got a power glove and a filthy mouth; and, armed with his Zapper, Benson will tear these games down," the Announcer counters big man on campus' statement. Benson angrily spoke, "NOT IF I BRING YOU DOWN FIRST WHOEVER YOU ARE!"

"Benson plays the worst games of all time, the horrible abominations of mankind," the announcer declares before continuing, "they make him so mad he could spit or say 'Cowabunga.'" "YOU COWA-FUCKING PIECE OF DOG SHIT!" the gumball machine screamed as he tried to find out where the voice is coming from. The announcer chortled, "they rip you off and don't care one bit; but, you don't even forget it, Beanteen..." "WELL I WON'T FORGET YOUR VOICE!" the big man on campus had reacted with shock upon hearing those words, "YOU BASTARD!" "Well Beanbag, why can't a turtle swim; why can't you land a plane?" the Announcer lampshades the fact. By that time, Benson shrieked, "they must've gotten you a quick buck for this shit load of fuck !" "Benson's name are wrong," the Announcer spoke, "it's not just because it isn't long; it's because Benson doesn't do anything!"

"I have a job, you know!" the gumball machine screamed. Despite this, the Announcer retorted, "Benson is the angriest gamer you've ever heard because the games suck so bad he makes up his own words ; in fact, Benson is the angriest, most pissed off gaming nerd , the angry Atari, Amiga, CDI, Colecovision, Intellivision, Sega, Neo Geo, Turbo Graffix 16, Odyssey, 3DO, Commodore, Nintendo nerd.. . he's the angry, video game nerd ..." "I don't know who you are!" the big man on campus exclaimed, "but if that's you Mordecai and/or Rigby putting you up to it, I'll have you all fired and arrested for harassment!" "Well, now you know Benson (the Angry Video Game Nerd)..." the announcer said. Now Benson turned violet and shouted, "I'm gonna kill you once I get my hands on you!" "Yeah, whatever," the Announcer retorted, "go have fun bashing Kirby, Beanteen." "Oh, when I find you, YOU GONNA WISH THAT YOU WERE NEVER BORN!" the gumball machine snarled with anger but the Announcer was gone, leaving himself wallowing in anger; little did he know, he was now disoriented.

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**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon. Before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was from "The It Crowd." I hope to have more at rate coming soon but 'til next time...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	4. Pops Maellard

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work "A Cat and Fox's Tale," "Yangnesia," and "No Love" I have something that will occupy your time: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may experience a few things out of place; plus, I'm raising the rating a bit.

**Disclaimer:** Regular Show belongs to Cartoon Network; in addition, "Know Your Stars" belong to "All That." Now, here's POPS!

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There once was a man named Pops Maellard who was the true owner of the park; he had kindness and modesty beyond the wildest of imaginations. After driving around the park in a golf cart, he returned the house and parked it near the lot where the others had remained; little did he know, he was going to be caught in the crosshairs of fate. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought our naive man from Lolliland to attention, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"Hello; is someone there?" Pops questioned as he stepped out to look around in confusion to see who was there, only to find that no one but himself was there. Then, the Announcer says, "Pops is gay." "Why, of course I am," the naive man from Lolliland confirmed that statement, unaware that it was supposed to be something, "No, I meant you're a homosexual," the Announcer stated. Pops responded, "eww..." "Pops is a fag," the Announcer snickered, "and a gay one." "Don't you mean a happy cigarette?" the naive man from Lolliland questioned. Now, the Announcer answers, "No..." "OHH!" Pops gasped in shock, "Why would you say that."

"Because Pops is a fruit," the Announcer responded. The naive man from Lolliland shouted, "I'll have you know that I'm not a fruit!" "Pops is a fairy," the Announcer whispers, "that eats Cheesy Poofs!" "I'm sorry kind sir, but I'm not a fairy; in fact, even if I was, I would be able to get them to appear magically yet I don't eat those 'Cheesy Poofs' you speak of," Pops responded sadly. Then, the Announcer says, "so that makes you lame." "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I CAN STILL WALK, HERE!" the naive man from Lolliland yelled, "YOU BAD MAN!" "One time at night, Pops took a bite out of his pillow mistaking it for chocolate marshmallow swirl in the middle of his dream," the Announcer then said. Pops responded, "it's true, it'd tasted so good; say, how do you know about this?"

"Because your an uphill gardener," the announcer declares before continuing, "that lifts your shirt up in the hot sun." "ARE YOU HITTING ON ME?" the naive man from Lolliland screamed in disbelief as he tried to find out where the voice is coming from. The announcer chortled, "no not at all..." "Ohh..." Pops had reacted with shock upon hearing those words, "well, that's a relief." "Pops is nothing but a load of bollocks," the Announcer lampshades the situation. By that time, the naive man from Lolliland shrieked, "I'M NOT USELESS OR A BUNCH OF PRIVATES!" "Pops is a bumsucker," the Announcer spoke, "who once dreamed of being a spastic cockmaster."

"I'M NOT A SPAZ OR A CREEP EITHER, SIR!" Pops screamed. Despite this, the Announcer retorted, "Pops Maellard has a girlfriend and her name is Drunks Austerlitz" "Excuse me?" the naive man from Lolliland exclaimed, "but I don't have a girlfriend!" "Well, you do now; and so, there you have it: now you know Pops Maellard," the announcer said as Pops' girlfriend showed up with beer in her hands in a slurred daze. Looking at her, the naive man from Lolliland sheepishly greeted Drunks, "hello..." "Okay then," the Announcer chuckled, "you two lovebirds go have fun together." "Oh, no!" Pops screamed as he was grabbed by his own girlfriend as the Announcer left, leaving himself at her mercy; little did he know, this was not going to end there.

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**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon. Before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was "The Angry Video Game Nerd" Theme (Song). I hope to have more at rate coming soon but 'til next time...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	5. Muscle Man aka Mitch Sorenstein

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work, "4Kids Does Team Fortress" and "Re: Yin Yang Who?" I have something that will occupy your time: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may experience a few things out of place; plus, I've lowered the rating a bit this time.

**Disclaimer:** Regular Show belongs to Cartoon Network; in addition, "Know Your Stars" belong to "All That." Now, here's MUSCLE MAN!

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There once was a muscle man named Mitch Sorenstein who was green; a hot blooded partier, he knew all very well how to live life to the fullest. While hitting the gym, he had found himself in the restroom; little did he know, he was going to be caught in the crosshairs of fate. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought our muscle man to attention, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"What the...?" Mitch questioned as looked around in confusion to see who else was there, only to find that no one but himself was there. Then, the Announcer says, "Muscle Man is a druggie." "No, man!" the muscle man grunted angrily, "I don't do drugs and you wanna know who else doesn't use drugs?" "Who; your MOM or your uncle John?" the Announcer snickered. Mitch was angered and then screamed, "I wasn't going to say that; why is it that people always think that I'm going to say that?" "Why it's very simple, my dear Michaelangelo," the Announcer answers, "because it's your common answer to everything." "GRRRRR!" the muscle man snarled with anger.

"Muscle Man's father is a descendant of Frankenstein," the Announcer responded. Mitch then shouted, "What the hell is wrong with you; I'm a human being!" "Your more like a cybernetic monster from the imaginary world," the Announcer whispers, "better yet, you're more of a zombie to me..." "DIDN'T I ALREADY TELL YOU THAT I'M A HUMAN BEING," the muscle man responded with wrath. Then, the Announcer says, "and I'm Sigmund Freud." "WHO THE HELL IS SIGMUND FREUD?" Mitch yelled, "IS THIS SOME JOKE YOU'VE MADE?" "Actually, he's the real deal, my friend; the problem is that you don't even know him you Nazi spy," the Announcer then said. The muscle man responded, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A NAZI?"

"You Mitch Sorenstein," the announcer answers before continuing, "or should I say Siegfried Müsselman!" "THAT'S NOT EVEN MY REAL NAME!" Mitch screamed in disbelief as he tried to find out where the voice is coming from. The announcer chortled, "that's what they all say, Schultzstaffel!" "WHAT?" the muscle man reacted angrily upon hearing those words, "WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU ARE SO DEAD!." "Well, that's ironic because you're so so 'un'dead as well" the Announcer lampshades the situation. By that time, Mitch shrieked, "GODDAMNIT, I AM NOT A ZOMBIE!" "I know you are," the Announcer spoke, "but what am I...?"

"A EFFING DOUCHEBAG, THAT'S WHAT!" the muscle man screamed. Despite this, the Announcer retorted, "Siegfried Müsselman has just been banned from the gym and is about to be escorted out of here by the Strong Johns." "Excuse me?" Mitch exclaimed, "since when?" "Just now; and so, there you have it: now you know Muscle Man aka Mitch Sorenstein aka Siegfried Müsselman," the announcer said as the Strong Johns showed up as they spotted the green muscle man in their sights, the latter trying to run from the former even though the chase ended just as short as it had started. As they picked Mitch up from the ground, the Strong Johns said to the former altogether now, "by order of the local gym under new managemen, you are hereby banned from there FOREVER!" "Exactly," the Announcer whispered, "go have fun disturbing the peace now, Siegfried Müsselman." "AHHHHH!" the green muscle man screamed as he was then thrown out of the building with the force of a rocket blasting off (again) while leaving behind a twinkle in the sky; little did he know, this was halfway over for now.

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**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon. Before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was filled with all sorts of British terms, ripened for laughs; in addition, I wanna thank nintendosegasonyguy the most for reviewing my story the most even though it was all in one setting along with Ultrablastic123 and Neon-Dark-Lightning as well. I hope to have more at rate coming soon but 'til next time...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	6. Hi Five Ghost

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work, "4Kids Does Team Fortress" and "Re: Yin Yang Who?" I have something that will occupy your time: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may experience a few things out of place; plus, I've lowered the rating a bit this time.

**Disclaimer:** Regular Show belongs to Cartoon Network; in addition, "Know Your Stars" belong to "All That." Now, here's HI FIVE GHOST!

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There once was a poltergeist called Hi Five Ghost who was invisible to life but not to his friends; just like Muscle Man, he was also a hot blooded partygoer, knowing all very well how to live life to the fullest. While wandering about somewhere within the park, he had found himself waiting for his friend to come back from the gym; little did he know, he was going to end up just like his friend. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought the friendly ghost to his attention, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"Huh?" Hi Five Ghost questioned as looked around in confusion to see who else was there, only to find that no one but himself was around. Next, the Announcer says, "Hi Five Ghost is a rip off of Casper." "Not true, man!" he moaned angrily, "I'm not Casper; I don't even know him." "Hi Five Ghost is a knockoff of all the cheap Halloween costumes mommy and daddies made for their children with bed sheets because they were both too cheap and lazy to support the forces of good," the Announcer snickered. The friendly ghost was insulted and then shouted, "How does that make any sense?"! "Why it's very simple, my man," the Announcer answers, "it doesn't." "Ohhhh...!" Hi Five Ghost grunted with anger.

"Hi Five Ghost is King Boo," the Announcer responded. He then shouted, "what is wrong with you, I'm not royalty!" "Your more like a crown prince," the Announcer snickered, "better yet, you're more of a jack to me..." "DIDN'T I ALREADY TELL YOU THAT I'M NOT ROYALTY?" the friendly ghost responded with slow wrath. Then, the Announcer says, "and I'm Yugi Muto." "WHO THE HECK IS YUGI MUTO?" Hi Five Ghost yelled, "IS THIS SOME JOKE YOU'VE MADE?" "Yes," the Announcer then said. He then responded, "HOW DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE?"

"Like I said," the announcer answers before continuing, "it doesn't...!" "GODDAMNIT!" the friendly ghost screamed in disbelief as he tried to find out where this is going at. The announcer chortled, "Hi Five Ghost is the reject soul of the Spiritomb..." "WHAT?" Hi Five Ghost reacted angrily upon hearing those words, "WHEN I FIND YOU, I WILL HAUNT YOU UNTIL YOU DIE!." "Well, that's ironic because I don't believe in ghosts," the Announcer responds. By that time, he'd shrieked, "THEN, HOW COME YOU ARE TALKING TO ME?" "Plain and simple," the Announcer spoke, "I live in another world, a world of twenty thousand girls and milk sending rectangles to an optometrist, the man with the golden eyeball while you tighten your buttocks, pour juice on your chin, and promise your girlfriend you'd play the violin."

"THIS ISN'T EVEN GOING ANYWHERE; STOP TALKING ABOUT THINGS I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND!" the friendly ghost screamed. Despite this, the Announcer retorted, "Well, understand this: your best friend, Muscle Man or should I say Siegfried Müsselman has just been banned from the gym he went earlier, gotten escorted out of here by the Strong Johns, and is heading your way as of now." "What the...?" Hi Five Ghost exclaimed, "how?" "He got kicked out; and so, there you have it: now you know Hi Five Ghost," the announcer said as Muscle Man emerged from the sky like a twinkle, screaming as the latter was spotted by his best friend in sight whom tried to run even though the whistling was the sure sign that there was not that much time left to do so. As the friendly ghost looked up again, the green zombie crashed to the ground, crushing the former underneath just as the latter groaned, "oh no, bro." "Yes, 'oh no' is right, guys," the Announcer whispered, "go have fun in the afterlife now...IN HELL!" And so, they were now rendered lifeless just seconds after; despite this, it was still not over yet.

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**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon. Before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was filled with all sorts of Nazi jokes, ripened for laughs; in addition, I wanna thank MattyBoy91 and Neon-Dark-Lightning for reviewing. I hope to have more at rate coming soon but 'til next time...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	7. Margaret

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work "A Cat and Fox's Tale," "Yangnesia," and "No Love" I have this as well: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may experience a few things out of place; plus, I've lowered the rating a bit this time.

**Disclaimer:** Regular Show belongs to Cartoon Network; in addition, "Know Your Stars" belong to "All That." Now, here's MARGARET!

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There once was a robin called Margaret who remained in the backgrounds of a painting called life; she had friends, a home, and a job beyond the wildest of imaginations. While taking a lunch break in the cafe, she had found herself calm and collected but thinking all the time; little did she know, she was going to be the first female to suffer the same fate everyone before her. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought the robin to her attention, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"Hello?" Margaret greeted as she'd looked around in confusion to see who else was there that came in, expecting her friends to show up only to find that no one was around. Next, the Announcer says to the robin as the sounds of a guitar were heard, "over rocks and trees and sand, soaring over cliffs, and gently floating down to land, she proudly lifts her voice to sound her mating call and soon her mate responds by singing, 'caw caw caw...' Come with me, Lesbian Seagull, settle down and rest with me." "You're kidding, right?" she chuckles nervously, "I'm straight..." "Fly with me, lesbian seagull, to my little nest by the sea with me that's where you belong with me; I know I can be strong when you're with me," the Announcer kept singing. Bothered, Margaret calmly declined, "I don't even who you are."

"She skims the water at the new time to seek her fish and she emerges with one squirming in her beak," the Announcer ignored her as the voice kept singing, "she plays among the waves and hides between the swells. She walks the beach at twilight searching for some shells." "I'm not a fisherman," the robin protested patiently for one last time but to no avail. Still, the Announcer sung to her, "come with me, Lesbian Seagull, settle down and rest with me; oh fly with me lesbian seagull to my little nest by the sea. With me that's where you belong with me I know I can be strong when you're - you're with me." "This is serious!" Margaret raised her voice as her patience had started to run out, "I'm not a lesbian; I'd been out with many of mine boyfriends in the past!"

"And in the evening as they watch the setting sun she looks at her as if to say 'the day is done,'" the Announcer had sung to the robin. She was starting to become annoyed as she countered, "who is this 'her' you're talking about; is this about me and Eileen?" "It's time to find their shelter hidden in the dunes and fall asleep the music of the moon, you and me, Lesbian seagull," the Announcer vocalized as he ignored Margaret while playing the guitar, "you just watch the world, oh my, just you and me lesbian seagull side by side with me 'till we die, You and I..." "Stop calling me a lesbian!" the robin screamed angrily as if she had to offense to that term. Luckily for her, the Announcer was down to the last verse which were then said, "we can make it if we try our love will keep us flyin' high until we die..."

"Augh, finally!" Margaret said as she'd cooled down, finally relieved that the song was over, "I thought for a moment there it would never end" And so, it did; despite this, it was still not over yet.

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**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon. Before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was filled with all sorts of references to ghosts, ripened for laughs; in addition, I wanna thank Destiny Shadows and Mordecai for positively reviewing. I hope to have more at rate coming soon but 'til next time...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	8. Eileen

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work "A Cat and Fox's Tale," "Yangnesia," and "No Love" I have this as well: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may experience a few things out of place; plus, I've lowered the rating a bit this time.

**Disclaimer:** Regular Show belongs to Cartoon Network; in addition, "Know Your Stars" belong to "All That." Now, here's EILEEN!

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There once was a mole named Eileen who remained in the backgrounds of a painting called life; she had friends, a home, and a job beyond the wildest of imaginations. While approaching the cafe, she had found herself calm and collected but thinking all the time; little did she know, she was going to suffer the same fate everyone before her had all underwent. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought the mole to her attention, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"Hello?" Eileen greeted as she'd entered the cafe, looking around in confusion to see who else was there as she expected one of her friends to show up only to find that no one was around. Next, the Announcer says, "Eileen is an ugly girl." "No, I'm not!" the mole snapped back, "I'm not ugly." "Eileen has a face that makes people hurl," the Announcer countered teasingly as if her responses went unheard. Eileen wasn't liking this one bit and so she raised her voice, "that's not true at all!" "But you have it so you should bag it," the Announcer responded to the mole uncaringly, "you have acne everywhere and unwanted facial hair; in fact, you're a relation to Frankenstein's creation." "Stop that; I'm not related to Frankenstein at all," she yelled as tears were started to take form.

Still, the Announcer kept going at it with Eileen, "you're so ugly you disgust me..." "LEAVE ME ALONE!" the mole started to bawl as tears started to drip down from her eyes, "YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT IF MY FRIEND MARGARET WAS HERE!" "Eileen is a bland homely girl whose all alone in the world as flat as a board, thin, and lanky," the Announcer laughed as she started to leave the cafe in despair. While running, Eileen shouted back at the Announcer, "STOP SAYING THAT!" "You're a doll, get a troll; were you hit by a train?" the Announcer countered with glee whereas the mole charged amongst the confused populace, "even I won't go near you because your breath is stanky!" "I BRUSH MY TEETH EVERY MORNING!" she contradicted that statement while wailing. Irregardless, the Announcer went on, "just don't get touched, I'm afraid because guys say you're an eyesore."

"I HATE YOU NOW!" Eileen screamed as she had now found herself nearby a bridge, "I SHOULD JUST DIE ALREADY!" "Well you should because you're still so ugly even you still disgust me," the Announcer agreed as the mole finally reached the high bridge. As she started to step over the railing reluctantly, the crowd screamed at her, "COME BACK; IT'S NOT WORTH IT!" "NO!" Eileen tearfully refused as she started to edge closer to its outer boundaries where the water laid below her, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" "Well, I would go out with you and have some fun but you're too damn ugly!" the Announcer joked. Before jumping off, the mole cried distressfully, "GOODBYE FOREVER!"

And lo it was known that the crowd whom witnessed her falling had collective emotions amongst themselves: fear, fury, pain, and sorrow had become common within seconds; little did they know, she was another victim in a sick and twisted game that was went from funny to serious.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon. Before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was based after the song "Lesbian Seagull" by Engelbert Humperdinck that was used in the film "Beavis & Butt-Head Do America." I hope to have more at rate coming soon but 'til next time...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	9. First Encounters Group

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work "A Cat and Fox's Tale," "Yangnesia," and "No Love" I have this as well: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may experience a few things out of place; plus, I've lowered the rating a bit this time.

**Disclaimer:** Regular Show belongs to Cartoon Network; in addition, "Know Your Stars" belong to "All That." Now, here's the meet and greet...

* * *

At last, there came across a ground zero house that was surrounded by a vast jade viridian sea of the brilliant green. The abode was covered in a colorful coating of a more-or-less bluish shade. The roof had stopped on down by slightly on all four corners, with an attic that sees all in front and a chimney alongside of it on the top; in fact, it was so high, that it was part of a two story house. All of the voluminous wholesome windows were closed while the sunshades hovered over them without even obscuring the viewing of the great outdoors from the inside point of view. The driveway had a snow white golf car sitting on the fertile foundation even though it was outside the garage that was conveniently proximate. Only the screen door added the finishing touch to this picturesque residence where people would set foot in after walking up the wan rungs.

Inside the house was a lot more like a dream of some sort for any future homeowner that visited the humble abode and explored it altogether in one day. The living room was accommodated with everything that anyone could find in an average living room: a table set, a tall armoire, a long white sofa, some magazines and books, a television set with a gaming system, and a nightstand with a lamp and a telephone. The kitchen was typically equipped with an electrical stove, a dish-ridden sink, a fully stocked refrigerator, run of the mill cabinets, a black microwave, a white dishwasher, a toaster, a dining table, and a cleaning twosome washer and a dryer. The entryway was empty but it didn't mean that no one was home at all; however, no one even cared.

Inside the kitchenette, Mordecai sat on a chair inside the table with only a soda can in his possession for that he was drinking out of. As the blue jay sat in such thought he was experiencing a painful headache from earlier, having encountered some entity that caused him great confusion and delay; of course, that entity was one that spoke of falsehoods and misconceptions and it was the Announcer. The Announcer's latest encounter brought up thoughts about him being an emo brooding with angst, his real name being Tom, a disgraceful murderer, a happy-go-lucky black man, and hating a certain TV show, all that were founded to be harmful. Mordecai was angered at all this understandably because of not only of said falsehoods but also of certain points in his life where he was surprised that someone had known of him somehow in some form and fashion. The blue jay had rubbed his forehead to thin out the twinge with his feathers but with little avail since this was doing little good for him at all. After drinking the last drop of soda, he stood up from his seat, went to the trash can, discarded the canister, and left the kitchen.

When Mordecai started to do so after consuming the recently discarded beverage, it would be no surprise that he found someone waiting for him: a yeti in blue jeans to be precise. "Mordecai…" the speaker called out to the blue jay, bringing the latter to the former's attention, "may I like a word with you outside, please?" "Yes Skips!" Mordecai agreed, going right over to the now named yeti in question before the two went outside. As the blue jay did so, Skips then spoke up, "have you seen Rigby lately?" "Well, the last time I've checked he'd gone to the bathroom and it was for a pretty long time…" Mordecai answered the yeti curiously, "why do you ask?" "He's in the hospital; now, let's go!" another male had answered in place of Skips and it was Benson whom was in control of the golf cart now, albeit not interested in wasting any more time over this one at all.

The blue jay and the yeti sat close to the gumball machine nearby while the motor revved to life as jet black carbon monoxide flowed out of the tailpipe and entered into the fresh air. With only one foot on the brake pedal, Benson put the gear shift from park to reverse, slowly pulling out onto the dirt trail; then, the brakes were stomped on again as the gear shift was now switched from reverse to drive. As a result, the wheels were in motion once again as the gumball machine drove his compatriots to the hospital.

After a frantic frenzy lasting for fifteen minutes they had all reached their destination. With the paperwork in place and rational logic being used delicately, all that the trio could do was bide their time in the waiting; true to its term, there were many others that had a fair share of misfortunes prior to arrival. Mordecai just sat there impatiently in the waiting room as his eyes were filled with apprehension as they all had the identical question brewing in their mind: what happened to Rigby? Of course, it would be answered in less than half an hour when the three men looked to find a doctor emerging from the trauma center; of course afterwards, Benson stood up and catechized, "so what happened to him?" "To tell you the truth, it's kind of a really long story," the doctor had answered after pausing for a second before, "do you want to see him?" "Yes," the three all had said nodding as they started to follow the man back to the emergency room where the coon laid on the stretcher in a full body cast with devices attached to the latter.

Realizing it all, Skips decided to join in on the conversation, "Now would be a good time to explain what happened…" "Well, allow me to explain," and the good doctor did, "some guy who claimed to be Rigby's brother came in with your what I could tell from he was beaten, stomped on, punched, and kicked; other words, he was beaten unconscious." "W-what; just by going to the bathroom for some long?" the blue jay had yapped as his brain was racked in confusion. The doctor continued, "actually, he explained that he was in some sort of trance but the moment when he had snapped back to his senses, he noticed his brother lying around in the bush beaten up and whatnot; so, he told us to call you. Sure, I've seen people injured in my days of training but I've never seen somebody hurt this badly; I just don't understand what this world is coming to." "Oh, you mean Don right; come to think of it, where is he?" the gumball machine had asked again as he had remembered someone in particular. The doctor answered Benson's question by pointing in another direction and said, "he's right over there in the lobby…"

The trio walked on over to the lobby and found another raccoon that just looked a lot like Rigby, albeit taller waiting in the same fashion they were in when the former group had arrived to the hospital; aside from that, there was also Margaret as well. "Hey guys, I see that you're also in the hospital as well," the robin said to the trio whom she'd instantly spotted, "what happened?" "I was going to ask you the same thing, Margaret," Mordecai just responded nervously. Seeing that the group needed no introduction or greeting, Don decided to speak up for the blue jay, "my big brother Rigby just got beaten up by bunch of people very badly so that's how we all ended up here; so, what about you, Margaret?" "It's my friend, Eileen," she'd answered somewhat sadly, "the doctors told me that she tried to kill herself by jumping off from a high bridge into the water; in addition, they also said that before that, she was also seen shouting and crying about someone she thought was egging her on." "Holy crap; that's what'd happened?" the gumball machine exclaimed, seeing that this stuff about people contemplating suicide was the last thing that anyone would want to hear about, let alone himself to say the least.

As Margaret explains to Benson about how her friend, Eileen tried to do so and what happened prior to this, Skips then interjects within the conversation, "come to think of it, what where all of you guys doing earlier before?" "Well, while Rigby was over at the bathroom, I was playing Dig Champs," Mordecai answered the yeti, "that is until I heard some guy's voice telling me that my name was Tom, and that I was disgraceful, murderous, head scratching, dancing, dark skinned human who hates Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent." "Well, I was just helping some elderly folk balance her checkbook but then I found myself at the park where I also found Rigby before taking him to the hospital," the taller raccoon also answered as well. Remembering the voice from earlier as well, Benson joined in with the group, "I was cleaning up some debris in the park 'til I heard someone calling me an angry video gaming nerd; at first, I thought that Mordecai and Rigby were behind this but when I heard about Rigby in the hospital, I dismissed them." "Speaking of name-calling, I heard some jerk call me a lesbian seagull while I was about to serve some coffee," the robin then followed along at last, "now that you've mentioned it, I don't think any of that stuff have anything to do with this."

"On the contrary, I think this may hold a clue to what may have happened to your friend along with all of us," Skips contradicted suspiciously as if he'd heard about it before. Everyone else leaned in and spoke, "IT DOES…?" "Yes, and I think I know why," the yeti continued on, "somehow we must be in an universe where almost all the actions performed by us are probably influenced by inhabitants from another dimension that must have created our world without us knowing it for so long 'til now that is." "Skips, I don't that is really possible at all for us to live in it," the gumball machine spoke up, finding this theory concocted by Skipsto be understandably preposterous for the former to just simply believe in it. Margaret then countered Benson's statement, "as much as I don't need to believe this, the fact is that Eileen is in the hospital nonetheless." "Don't forget Rigby as well," the blue jay added, "and besides I don't think some outside influence would have anything to do with this at all." "It doesn't?" everyone else joined again. Mordecai then explained, "no, it doesn't because for as long as we're here we have always been–––"

"…a bunch of puppets," a voice interrupted that brought the entire group to attention out of surprise, "a bunch of stinky, sweaty, meat puppets." "Now I see: that must be the voice you guys were talking about and it's using itself as a mouthpiece for destruction," said Don whom had pointed out. A second passed momentarily and the voice spoke up again, "that is correct, Don; not only I have brought you all here, I have also intend to recreate your world with this story." "You would even dare!" the yeti screamed defiantly at the voice, "doing so would destroy the fabrics within the time space continuum flux and cause the end of the world as we know it." "Ah, but your protests are meaningless and for good reason: fan based literature is a malleable thing when it comes to people like yet people enjoy whatever that's said and done if and when written with such professionalism; thus, they can be easily be swayed into reviewing such works of writing," the voice countered slyly as if it had ignored Skips. The gumball machine turned red with anger screamed back at it with brazen denial, "that's not true; THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" "You can deny it all you want Beanteen, but you're _all_ living proof!" the voice boomed arrogantly, "you see, throughout this entire time, you yourself thought that your freeloading employees put me up to it when in reality they had no part of this at all."

"But what about Eileen; what did she had anything to do with you?" the robin asked as she too felt her anger crawling in her skin the same way it just did with Benson, albeit befitting since she wondered what became of the mole. The voice had answered Margaret with something of all the niggling reasons the former would picked, "your friend here was given a name that reminded me of someone in particular from another place and time and as long as there can be only one sun in the sky in broad daylight there can only be one Eileen and one Eileen alone…!" "You evil manipulative son of a bitch!" the robin shouted back as the anger within herself was brewing, "I'll never forgive you for this!" "Oh, well that's fine by me because your friend was nothing more than an embarrassment from the start, a dirty little secret that couldn't be allowed to live; still, I'm choosing to spare your friend anyway since I would recommend having her name changed to Elaine and because truthfully I neither hated nor loved her at all to begin with… 'til then 'so long, farewell, auf wiederschon, and goodbye' because partying is such sweet sorrow," the voice retorted nonchalantly to Margaret before disappearing once again like from before.

When the dust had finally settled down a bit, everything in the lobby was finally all quiet on the western front. After a few moments of silence, the blue jay peeped, "dude, this isn't good at all." "Indeed…" the yeti continued, "something tells me he'll be back…"

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**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon. Before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was based after the song "Ugly Girl" by Weird Al Yankovic, a parody of "Barbie Girl" by Aqua; in addition, I would like to thank **Chibi-Eclipse** and **greenpanic6** for reviewing. I also like to thank **the red vox** for suggesting me something I would use later on in the story but 'til then...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	10. Don

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work "A Cat and Fox's Tale," "Yangnesia," and "No Love" I have this as well: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may experience a few things out of place; plus, I've returned to the previous format from before.

**Disclaimer:** Regular Show belongs to Cartoon Network; in addition, "Know Your Stars" belong to "All That." Considering that I have now reached chapter ten, this will be the last time I will mention those disclaimers from now on; anyways, here's DON!

* * *

There once was a raccoon named Don whom was the brother of Rigby, a simple groundskeeper, but taller and younger; he had friends, a family, a sweet car, and a simple job beyond the wildest of imaginations: the job of an accountant. While leaving the hospital, he had found himself calm and collected but thinking all the time about something: so now it was to be the Announcer, saying what they did, true or otherwise; little did he know, he was going to suffer the same fate everyone before her had all underwent, especiall his dear big brother whom was smaller and immature. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought the coon to her attention, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"Is that you?" Don had asked as he'd realized the voice from before earlier was the same one that sent Rigby to the hospital, looking aroundto see who else was there as he'd expected one of his friends to show up only to find that no one was around. Next, the Announcer says, "Don is successful con artist who had left a coast-to-coast trail of deception, deceit and empty bank accounts all while keeping a low profile of his crime and about the investors who bought his story." "No, I'm not!" the coon snapped back predictably, "I'm not a thief." "Don had once planned a heist," the Announcer countered teasingly as if his responses went unheard. Don wasn't liking this one bit and so he raised his voice slightly, "that's not true at all!" "Don killed Gerald Barnes in the past and had been impersonating him for twenty years specializing in "executive" medical exams all while living the good life with a six-figure salary," the Announcer responded to the coon uncaringly, "additionally, Don left no clues behind but only a trail of broken dreams and empty bank accounts as he'd commited forty-three robberies in twenty months." "Stop that; I wasn't even born yet you know," Don had yelled as he was trying his best not to get angry. Still, the Announcer kept going at it with the coon, "Don once had stolen a museum quality art collection worth more than four million dollars including the fine works of Picasso, Matisse, and Rothko."

"DUDE!" Don started to scream as he'd started to rub his forehead to smooth out the headache he was having right now, "you know that's a total lie; in fact, I don't even know how to plan a heist...!" "Don had once repeatedly jabbed long needles to a patient's back during his time as Gerald Barnes," the Announcer laughed as the coon started to walk around in circles in order to keep his sanity intact. While doing so, Don spoke back to the Announcer, "I did not kill people...!" "Don is a meth addict who commits identity theft to fund his drug addictions," the Announcer countered with glee whereas the coon tried his best to contain himself to the world, "one time, he'd played the system and made off with more than a million from Medicare." "I would never do something like that; in fact, there are people who really need it and you're saying that I'm taking away all this from senior citizens?" Don contradicted that statement while raving slightly. Irregardless, the Announcer went on, "Don is a cat burglar who executed some of the most daring jewel heists in American history." "I had just told you already: I did not plan a heist!" the coon had screamed as he had now found himself punching a tree, "you're lying to me!" "Yes you do; even so, you've once had vanished with two hundred million dollars," the Announcer contradicted him as Don had started to tear himself apart.

As the coon started to tear his hair out, he'd screamed at Announcer, "I'm starting to get really mad now!" "Don even stole millions of dollars from unsuspecting patrons all under the guise of charity work!" the Announcer exclaimed as Don was now foaming at the mouth, "he even masterminded of one of the largest Ponzi schemes in history, costing his victims nearly thirty-four million dollars!" "IT'S ALL LIES!" the coon screamed as his eyebrows had now arched closely enough to show that he was truly angry. Still, the Announcer said, "One dark night, Don had hatched a clever plan to steal three hundred million dollars in art from a Boston museum including some paintings by Rembrandt, Vermeer and Manuet and sold them by day as fake art treasure!" "I DID NOT STEAL ARTWORK FROM MUSEUMS!" Don screamed unaware that he was attracting quite a crowd, "I'M JUST AN ACCOUNTANT!" "And so, there it is: now you know Rigby..." the Announcer makes a statement about the situation as undercover agents now appeared approaching the coon calmly. Nonetheless, Don angrily shouted, now losing his psyche, "no, that is not true at all, man; where do you get your information?" Despite this, the Announcer retorted, "oh, go say hello to Ebbers and Kozlowski when you get to Club Fed."

"You're under arrest; you have the right to remain silent for anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law...!" the agent read the Miranda rights as he slapped the (hand)cuffs around the coon's wrists, "You have the right to an attorney but if you cannot afford one, then one will be appointed for you!" Now it was certainly clear that Don was to be taken to the police to discuss the whole thing; however, this would not end here.

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**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon. Before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was based after Metal Gear Solid 2 Thumbnail Theatre; in addition, I would like to thank **my mom, TheCharcoalInpachi,** and **swampert14** for reviewing. Until next time...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	11. Mister Maellard

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work "A Cat and Fox's Tale," "Yangnesia," and "No Love" I have this as well: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may experience a few things out of place; plus, I've returned to the previous format from before, albeit san disclaimer. Okay, that's gonna do it for us now if you excuse me, I have articles that are due that I have not yet started which I was supposed to do but I didn't so here's Mr. Maellard.

* * *

There once was a man named Mr. Maellard whom was the father of Pops, short and stout; here was his paperwork and there was his pen. When he had gotten steamed up, the man had his employers hear him shout all about for he had a simple job beyond the wildest of imaginations: the job of park owner; however, little did he know, all that was about to change instantaneously. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought him to attention, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"Benson, is that you?" Mr. Maellard had asked as he'd been looking around in his office to see who was there as he'd expected one of his employers to show up only to find that no one was around; of course, this was because of what had happened to Rigby. Next, the Announcer says, "Mr. Maellard had ordered the assassination of Joseph Medawar for fleecing millions of dollars from investors of the cancelled _DHS: The Series_." "No, I did not!" the man snapped back predictably, "I'm not a murderer; I'm a park owner...!" " Mr. Maellard had once trained Dana Giacchetto in the art of stardom," the Announcer countered teasingly as if his responses went unheard. Mr. Maellard wasn't liking this one bit and so he raised his voice slightly, "that's not true at all!" "Mr. Maellard had Alfred Taubaum killed once in the past and had been using his assets for twenty years specializing in price-fixing scams all while living the good life with a six-figure salary," the Announcer responded to the gentleman uncaringly, "additionally, he had left no clues behind but only a trail of broken dreams and empty bank accounts as he'd orchestrated the Miracle Cars scam offshore." "Stop that; I didn't even know about it, Benson!" he had yelled as he was starting to get angry. Still, the Announcer kept going at it with Mr. Maellard, "Mr. Maellard once had bought out Trans Continental Records from Lou Pearlman for the purpose of dissolving boy bands like _N*SYNC_, _Backstreet Boys_, and _O-Town_."

"GRRR!" the gentleman started to scream as he'd started to turn red like that gumball machine, albeit slowly, "you know that's a total lie; in fact, I don't even listen to this modern day gobbledy-gook...!" "Mr. Maellard had once framed Richard Scrushy for masterminding a significant HealthSouth fraud," the Announcer laughed as he started to throw the pen at the other side of the room, a sign has his sanity was starting to fade. While doing so, Mr. Maellard spoke back to the Announcer, "I did not frame what-his-name...!" "Mr. Maellard is a drug dealer who orders assassinations to fund his drug smuggling ring," the Announcer countered with glee whereas the gentleman tried his best to contain himself to the world, "one time, he'd the Kissel brothers murdered, leaving behind their families to be ruined by their deaths." "I would never do something like that; in fact, I'm a dad blasted millionaire!" he said, contradicting that statement while raving slightly. Irregardless, the Announcer went on, "Mr. Maellard had skin doctor Michael Rosin executed for running the most damning scam of them all in American history: exploiting skin doctor." "I had just told you already: I am not a murderer!" Mr. Maellard had screamed as he had now found himself punching his desk, "you're lying to me!" "Yes you are; even so, you've once had vanished with millions of dollars after killing Marc Harris," the Announcer contradicted him as the gentleman had started to tear himself apart.

As he started to tear his clothes off, he'd screamed at Announcer, "I'm starting to get really mad now!" "Mr. Maellard even stole millions of dollars from unsuspecting Wall Street bankers all with the help of prostitutes!" the Announcer exclaimed as Mr. Maellard was now foaming at the mouth, "he even masterminded of one of the largest investment scam in history, costing his victims nearly eighty million dollars and framing Al Parish in the process!" "IT'S ALL LIES!" the gentleman had screamed as his eyebrows had now arched closely enough to show that he was truly angry. Still, the Announcer said, "One dark night in a business trip in Nevada, Mr. Maellard had sex with many strippers at the Mustang Ranch thanks to Joe Conforte, one of whom had successfully conceived Pops who had just DIED!" "Whaaa?!" he screamed, clutching his bared chest in shock upon hearing those words, "my... son...!" "And so, there it is: now you know Mr. Maellard..." the Announcer makes a statement about the situation as Mr. Maellard collapsed to the floor. Nonetheless, the fading gentleman now losing his psyche gasped, "no..." Despite this, the Announcer retorted, "oh, go off and enjoy your spending spree... IN HELL!"

Now it was certainly clear that he was not moving at all anymore, succumbing to the blackness that had overtaken his sights; however, this would not end here at all... not yet...

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon. Before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was inspired from the first few episode summaries of _American Greed: Scams, Scoundrels, and Scandals_; in addition, I would like to thank ** , PARAMOREROCKS,** and **AwesomelyMe0728** for reviewing. Until next time...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	12. John Sorenstein

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work "A Cat and Fox's Tale," "Yangnesia," and "No Love" I have this as well: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may have experienced a few things being out of place; plus, I've already returned to the previous format from before so... HEERRREEE'S Johnny!

* * *

There once was a muscle man named John Sorenstein who was the brother of another muscle man named Mitch, a hot blooded partier; like the latter, even the former knew all very well how to live life to the fullest. While hitting the road, the bald man had found himself in the red cab of his tractor trailer; little did he know, he was going to be caught in the crosshairs of fate. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought our big brother to attention, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"What the...?" John questioned as looked around in confusion to see who else was there, only to find that no one but himself was there; nevertheless, he needed to continue onward in peace. Then, the Announcer says, "Johnny got his Yankee arse off someone's property." "Huh?!" the big brother grunted angrily as he attempted to turn the radio one, "what's going on here?!" "He didn't care if the bank gave them a deed to their homeland for generations since they had beat back those sneaky Japanese in the war of 1812," the Announcer voice over on the radio. John changed the channel and then screamed, "that's not true; that's impossible!" "Hey Johnny Boy," the Announcer hollered, "bring our boys home, man..." "GRRRRR!" the big brother snarled with anger, fiercely punching out the music box at once.

"John's son was born an albino," the Announcer sounded out on the radio. John gritted his teeth and then growled in response, "What the hell is wrong with you?! I'm not even married!" "His youngest was covered in hair," the Announcer whispers, "even so, the middle one says he's a homosexual..." "DIDN'T I ALREADY TELL YOU THAT I'M NOT EVEN MARRIED," the big brother responded with simmering wrath. Then, the Announcer says, "and other seven's gone somewhere else." "STOP MAKING UP LIES ABOUT ME!" Mitch yelled, "AREN'T YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?" "I don't know where and I just don't care... just don't care..." the Announcer then said. John stepped onto the gas pedal very hard and responded, "EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!" 

"John Sorenstein has spinal meningitis," the announcer chuckles before continuing onward, "by injecting all that hairspray." "THAT'S NOT EVEN MY HOBBY!" the big brother screamed in fury as he ran a few vehicles off the road in front of him. The announcer chortled, "He finds it a super cheap way to party since he aims to kill some braincells and some time!" "WHAT?" John reacted angrily by running over some pedestrians upon hearing those words, "WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO DEAD!" "Well, good luck getting that child support check from me now..." the Announcer's voice chortled. By that time, the big brother shrieked, "GODDAMNIT, I AM NOT MARRIED!" "I know you are," the Announcer spoke, "but what am I...?"

"A FUCKING ASSHOLE, THAT'S WHAT!" John had screamed. Despite this, the Announcer retorted, "Johnny boy has just driven his truck off the bridge." "Excuse me?" the big brother had exclaimed when he realized what had happened: he crashed into the railing, "oh shi-" "And so, there you have it: now you know John Sorenstein," the announcer said as the trailer exploded into a great big conflagration; little did he know, this was almost over for now.

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**Author's Note:** Well, it was a doozy; but, at least I hope to make it up to you soon. Before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was inspired from the second batch of a few episode summaries from _American Greed: Scams, Scoundrels, and Scandals_; in addition, I like to thank **JessieLover** for reviewing this story. I hope to have more at rate coming soon but 'til next time...

**PLEASE R&R!**


	13. Low Five Ghost

**Author's Note:** Hi there, this is PenGator3 with another fanfic; even though you're all waiting for my latest pieces of work "A Cat and Fox's Tale," "Yangnesia," and "No Love" I have this as well: a "Know Your Stars" fic for Regular Show. Since this is my first time doing this you may have experienced a few things being out of place; plus, I've already returned to the previous format from before so... HEERRREEE'S LOW... FIVE... GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST!

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There once was a poltergeist called Low Five Ghost who was the brother of another poltergeist named Hi Five Ghost, a hot blooded partier invisible to life but not to his friends or family; like the latter, even the former knew all very well how to live life to the fullest. Watching some television, he had found himself in the impound lot eating some doughnuts; little did he know, he was going to be caught in the crosshairs of fate. "Know Your Stars..." a voice was heard that brought the friendly ghost to attention, "Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars..."

"Hmm... these donuts must be getting to me..." Low Five Ghost questioned as looked at the next pastry in his possession with bewilderment; with little warning, he put it back in the light green box. Then, the Announcer says, "Low Five Ghost once summoned Fishbone D to the earthly plane as a prank." "Huh?!" the big brother grunted in confusion as he attempted to turn the television off, "must oughta lay off the sugar for a while..." "He also summoned Hexapodus in a children's playground on night," the Announcer voiced on over on the speaker. Low Five Ghost looked at the shrinking dot on the very screen and then sputtered, "wait, what?!" "Low Five Ghost..." the Announcer started to speak once more, "sent out Acidwire against two teenage girls one night." "Excuse me?!" he choked out in confusion, fiercely hovering away from the television screen at once. Without warning, the Announcer then sounded out within the vicinity of Low Five Ghost, "Low Five Ghost was once friends with an infamous serial killer who then became Shrieker long before going to Hell." "Oh..." he moaned and began to reach for the door in front of him at once, "I need to go out for a walk and clear my head."

Feeling the warm rays of sunlight piercing his thin body, Low Five Ghost started to see the building and the concrete in front of his visage all at once. "Low Five Ghost once sold candy to kids that brought the dead back to life as a Halloween Prank," the Announcer declared as soon as he started hovering over the sidewalk. Low Five Ghost winced in discomfort and muttered, "now that's just messed up; I would never do that." "Low Five Ghost was once a stuffed animal plushie in his very life," the Announcer says, "but escaped from it alive and gone somewhere else." "Yo, man that's not even true..." he grunted in displeasure. The Announcer then said, "Low Five Ghost accidentally killed a child's mother as part of a prank gone wrong!"

Soon, Low Five Ghost started to gain some speed as he was in contrast losing his composure. "This is getting insane!" he muttered a bit loudly than before, "I need to get out of this town for a few days; yeah, maybe that could help me around..." "Low Five Ghost once ate an amateur exorcist alive and vomited him back out in disgust," the announcer chuckled without a care in the world. Low Five Ghost then began to gurgle and groan, "oh, that's nasty." "Low Five Ghost once lured another ghost to his doom by tricking him into the escaping to the human world," the announcer chortled, "and watched it become destroyed by a rather skilled archer." "WHAT?" was all that he could say to it as he then began to vomit onto the sidewalk.

Despite all this, the Announcer retorted, "Low Five Ghost has now disappeared off the face of the Earth." "Excuse me?" Low Five Ghost had exclaimed when he realized what had happened: he was starting to dissolve into bright particles and shatter like glass, "oh shi-" "And so, there you have it: now you know Low Five Ghost," the announcer said as he broken off into many uncleft pieces and became dust in the wind, literally; for a moment, it would seem as if that.

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**Author's Note:** Well, that was crap but at least I hope to make it up to you soon; however, before I go, I want to tell you that everything in the last chapter was inspired from the lyrics to the opening of _Squidbillies_. And to the one who signed as Muscle Man, I hope for your sake your last name happens to be Mark cause for what its worth, I'm not talking to you; wow, I'm not sure if this story is making others attract more vengeful beings visiting under the veneer of excitement. We still have a few chapters to go so stay tuned and most importantly.

**PLEASE R&R!**


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